First Day of School

Today was the first day of school at Iron Springs Elementary. I have to say it went very well. I helped out a lot on the side and actually felt like I was needed and most of all wanted. (Which sometimes you don't get that feeling from teachers. They usually have their own way of doing things and they don't want you in their way). So overall, I enjoyed it. Plus, I was asked to bring in a few items that told about me and the kids loved my collection of Disney things. (We totally connected there) Haha. I was also asked earlier this week to read aloud a story after lunch....I was a little scared at first but she let me take the book home to read through it first. Good thing she did, because I am scared to death to read aloud...(yeah, I know...and I want to be a teacher? What was I thinking?) ....I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that I was in special ed up until high school and even had an IEP. I was just always behind and reading (or any subject for that matter) I just sucked at. BUT GUESS WHAT!? I read the story aloud to the class and I thought I did great! I didn't even let my body get nervous or all sweaty! :0) I really was proud of myself. (I know...what a big accomplishment right?) No....it really was for me. (I will admit....I practiced a lot at home with Daisy but who cares...I did it!).
Overall, as much as I liked and enjoyed the day and had a great mentor teacher to watch....I really don't think I could ever teach 2nd grade. There is WAY too much repeating of yourself, and a TON of every tiny little procedures that they need to know all by the first day. From raising your hand, where the pencil sharpener is, where to line up, turn in work, what to do next, bathroom/drink breaks...and still a lot of kids who still can't tie their own shoes. Not to mention a very very annoying pet peeve......"teacher, teacher, teacher!"....."UGH! My name is Mrs. Rees!" haha. Dumb I know...but picture hearing it a thousands times a day from 25 different students in a whinning voice. Yuck.
Still it was a great first day and maybe tomorrow my feet wont hurt as much. :)
*I meant to take a picture of me and my first day but I forgot AND Caleb was gone so I didn't have anyone to take it....maybe next week. (Always need a picture of the first day of school, right!?)

Thanks for all the support......

It means a lot. :)

1/2 of the Melt Down....

Caleb got another calling this Sunday and we haven't even gone to this new ward for three whole weeks before it happened. We would've been there for 4 straight weeks but the last two weeks we were down in Vegas. How can people just call new members so quickly!? Give us sometime to see if we even like you, or what to stay! Not to mention they called us an hour before church started and asked us to come in 15 minutes before that to call Caleb to his calling. They wanted to announce his calling that Sunday. What if he had said no? (Which he never would) Then during church they asked him if we Rees' would speak in church in two weeks. Caleb has learned to never say yes for me, so he told the guy he had to ask me himself. He did, and I said no. (Shhh...don't tell my mom). But boy, I was so mad... I guess, I would have to go into all of that for someone to understand...but hey, the guy said that if I didn't feel comfortable, it wasn't like it was a calling and they were setting me apart to speak in church. So, I just went with what I wanted and said no. Believe me....I am already stressing out more than I can take with school, lessons, TWS's, Daisy, Babysitters, schedules, and having another kid and not even knowing when that is going to happen OR I will be able to stand the pain again, or if it will all be worst...... SO, I gave my answer and turned around, and didn't even make it to the church door before I started crying and breaking down. I drove away from Caleb before he could even get in the car I was so bitter about everything with this church that they couldn't just let us go for a few weeks before they started calling him off to another calling where he would have to stay after church and we would have to travel in two seprate cars again......Isn't it my turn yet? I am the one still going to school and trying to finish well having another baby that he wanted before I was even ready. Now I feel like I am all alone again and he will never understand how I feel. I am breaking down, and I am pushing away quickly from what I believe just because....because...I really don't even know...it might all be because I am pregnant and scared and worried about school, make up days and having this baby, and then passing it off to someone else to raise for the next couple of months.......
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I want to be a good mom
I want to be a good wife
I want to finish school (I am so close)
I want to hold and raise my own kids
I want to have time with my husband
I want to not have bad feelings about the church
I want to just be happy and stress free....does that mean giving up on this I have wanted for so long to make that all possible?